we're up and we're fishing and we're golfing and we're back

okay so this whole regular blogging thing isn't too bad!

yesterday was kind of crazy. since a lot of classes were cancelled on monday because of the holiday, yesterday was spent catching up on stuff and getting back into the mwf classes. i went to this masterclass... usually, masterclasses are when a composer or performer comes and he works with a student in a kind of "public private lesson" setting, giving them suggestions and things to work on in their piece. well, this dude that is playing a piano recital tonight did the masterclass yesterday. let's just say that it was the most pointless hour of my life. he didn't have any agenda or anything like that, and we all kind of awkwardly stared at each other like "what do we do now...?" to top it off he hardly speaks english, so we couldn't communicate very well and i could barely understand his interpreter. wow, totally pointless.

this tutoring thing is actually working out really well. i'm so surprised how easily the teaching comes to me, and it seems like the students are catching on and doing well. their first test is tomorrow so we'll see, i guess.

tonight is the major big deal EHS vs. EC football game. everyone has been posting stuff on facebook about it and man i miss all that. i can't even watch it, but i might listen on the radio or online. and once again, we're back to the marching-band-nostalgia conversation topic. ugh.

oh, and i've decided to suck it up and really change my practicing habits when it comes to trumpet and piano. (and my other methods classes, too.) my lesson today could have gone a lot better and the only thing that's really holding me back is my own goddamn laziness. so i'm really going to try to be better with practicing. i should be better than i am.

tomorrow is friday, thank GOD.

p.s. i might have a couple of options of the male persuasion in line. time will tell.

you don't know

yesterday i went to lunch with someone. and i realized that our relationship is changing. i'm not sure if it's in a good way or bad way, but it's different than i saw it end up being. i realized some things about myself and about them. we had a very deep conversation towards the end of our hanging out, and i was surprised to leave and be close to tears. i'm not sure why, because i should be enjoying the time we spend together. i just get the feeling that i'm never going to be good enough, or close enough, or something enough for them. sigh.

is it bad that it's tuesday and i'm already looking forward to the weekend? :(

a little satisfaction

Today, I saw: springfield's finest at a really shady laundromat. but i needed clean clothes and we can't do it in the dorms anymore! since we're fancypants upperclassmen!

Today, I heard: our kitten meowing for love like the attention whore she is.

Today, I touched: my trumpet, the keys of a piano and the keys of my computer.

Today, I smelled: chili cooking in the crockpot! what a wonderful dinner.

Today, I tasted: an egg sandwich made lovingly by roommate who was going to bring me breakfast in bed, popcorn and that chili i already talked about.

oookay. elaboration. the shady springfield laundromat. holeeeeee crap. we walked in and a swear i felt like i was a stereotypical movie scene in a laundromat. it was definitely an interesting experience... but since we paid sixteen dollars to do six loads of laundry, that probably won't be happening again.

the rest of the day i kind of just sat around and didn't really do much of anything. tonight i tutored for kazez's theory class. i feel like i'm really doing an okay job - a few of the main people who come often said again that i'm going to be a great teacher. and that's pretty much all that's worth it to me.


oh, p.s. my trumpet teacher wants me to play either the Haydn trumpet concerto or the Hummel trumpet concerto this year. are you KIDDING me?!

talking to myself

okay. that's it. i can't stand not writing anymore. so i'm going to try an experiment - write something, SOMETHING, at least every other day. maybe every three days, depending on the craziness of my life. i shall find one thing that made that day worthwhile to me.

you know what today's greatness was?
the absolutely beautiful weather!
for once i actually needed a blanket because it was chilly enough at night. my roommate and i went shopping today at old navy (she needed dress clothes and i can never resist a trip to old navy) and then we went to wal-mart for groceries. we came home and had tomato soup and grilled cheese for dinner... i can't even remember the last time i had tomato soup. it was fantastic to open the windows, have a cool breeze coming in and to eat a great sandwich/soup combo. after dinner we went for a really long walk around campus. we actually walked the entire perimeter, and explored the science building. i didn't realize how frikking LARGE that place is! and the geology department is oh so amazing! they have a frikking mastodon tusk or something on display. and the whole hallway is lined with cases of fossils and rocks and moon dust and shit like that.

we ended up walking past the football field, where they're having their first night football game. and as we were walking past, i felt this HUGE wave of nostalgia and sadness. being on a football field under the lights is like nothing else you'll ever experience. to have the crowd cheering louder for your marching band than for the football team is something that you don't easily forget.
i really enjoy the moments that kind of re-solidify that yes, i'm on the right track with my life. this past week in my conducting class, we did this wierd exercise where we had to move our arms and bodies to the music - not necessarily conduct, but more interpret the music bodily. we had a wide range of music to do this exercise with, from mozart's grand partita to stravinsky's rite of spring to holst's the planets. at first, it was really awkward and cheesy and everyone in the class was laughing and we all felt stupid. but after a while dr. jones gave us some suggestions on what to think about/listen to. and honestly, it started to feel quite natural. yeah, it was still awkward to look like fools with everyone else in the class, but secretly it was very interesting. and it got me to think about the music rather than just listen.
i know there's a lot of work to do over the next two years, and part of me feels really stressed and scared. but another part of me experiences those little moments every so often and is just like "Yes!!"
so anyway. life is decent right now. more than decent, actually. really awesome. busy as all hell, but i am doing okay with that. there are some developments that have occurred recently, so i'm not sure what to make of some things. but that's ambiguous for a reason! keep guessing!