you were not the same after that

Well. since once again i've slacked off at blogging... let's recap.

last wednesday i took the hardest midterm ever. music history, 20th century style. it was really frustrating because i really had no clue how to study for it. dr. s is really narrative when he talks about composers, and i don't really know what information to dismiss and what's important. there were a few long essays and i was pulling stuff from god knows where. i left the building after that test soooo bummed... it sucks when you know you could have done better. went up to the chapel for handbells. after rehearsal, i saw that w was still around, so i stopped by blair hall because i needed a w hug. we ended up sitting on the benches outside talking for an hour.
thursday was mostly uneventful. i did really well on my cave ecology quiz. my trumpet lesson sucked like usual. i really hate the fact that bryan has nothing positive to say about my playing. i realize i am not the best player in the world, but encouragement goes a long way. he was going on again about how this is my primary thing, blah blah blah. and i explained to him that i can't do everything 200% like he wants me to. my first priority is education. that is what i am in college for and what i am planning my life around. it's NOT performance; he says that in order to be a good teacher, i need to be a good musician. i realize this, but i have to prioritize because i don't have the energy, stamina or sanity to do it all. i will have to say, though, that yesterday's went pretty well overall. he actually gave me a compliment, miracle of miracles, and it was more collaborative than him harping on me the whole time.

this past weekend i went home for fall break. since it was just midterms week, they gave us monday and tuesday off. mom came down saturday morning. we got back in the afternoon to go to jane's wedding. i didn't realize how difficult it would be... seeing her again and in a new relationship naturally brought up memories of her last. he was the pastor of our church and was around for most of my entire childhood. i looked up to him immensely, even though i never got the affirmation i wanted from him. i know now why that is, i won't go into details, but he broke a lot of people's trust in that church and we were a little screwed up from that afterwards. but it's wonderful to see jane with a new man. the wedding was simple and touching. how i wish i could have that one day. it's obvious they care for each other very much.
after the wedding when we got home, my dad and i got into a discussion about the damn computer. it ended up blowing up into a giant ordeal and i of course ended up crying and leaving the room. it is so bloody frustrating to be around my dad. we're very similar, even though he thinks i'm more like my mom. but we know exactly how to push each other's buttons. soooo needless to say saturday night could have gone better.
sunday was church like usual. i sang with the choir, which was quite enjoyable. afterwards we went to brunch and then to see my grandma. we ended up staying there for most of the afternoon. later sunday night, some of the crew met up at meranda's aunt's house for pumpkin carving and rocky horror. i'm not really sure where things went wrong, but meranda got upset with stephanie and things went down the tubes. i don't know what her beef is with stephanie, but frankly i feel it's a little juvenile. i realize i don't know the whole situation, but it just feels too high school-ish for me and i'd like to think we're past that now. i'm not going to let it bother me, though. wish we could just all get along.
monday mom and i went to the library because i had to pay my electric bill online lol. we missed ralph, unfortunately, but i left a note so hopefully he smiled. after that, we went to my other grandma's house. i hadn't talked to her in a long time because things have been so crazy. she's been having some wierd pain issues, in and out of the doctor's and emergency room... i think everyone is a little worried about her because usually she's in great health. let's hope they figure out the problem soon.
tuesday, i got my hair cut and then jessica and i went to the new high school. it is, in a word, astonishing. however, it lost a lot of character and uniqueness that made the old school so awesome. it's hard to believe i'll never walk those halls again - the same ones my great-grandmother walked. all the classrooms look the same, as do the hallways. apparently there are some things that need to be finished in the new school. but the performing arts wing is amazing!! it was hard not to see myself walking down the hall and teaching in the new band room. we got a sneak peek of the auditorium, which isn't finished, but will look amazing. jessica and i spent most of the time with mr. b - he showed us the auditorium and library. i didn't realize how much i missed him until we said goodbye. we talked about a lot of nonsense when we saw him in his study hall, and sometimes i wish we could have a serious conversation, but it was enjoyable all the same. after we visited the high school, i got my stuff into the car and we came back to school.
since i've been back - let's just say it's REALLY nice to have a three day week! wednesday, after my conducting class, dr. j asked me and another person to stay after class a minute. he told us he'd be nominating us for an honor band with the ohio instrumental conductors association (or something like that). that means the third weekend of january, we'll go to ashland univ., play five pieces (with dr. j conducting one), rehearse saturday and sunday, and perform a concert sunday afternoon. it sounds amazing, if a little scary. resume booster for sure! rachel and i decided to move our recital date partly because of this. we'd have to have our pre-recital jury out of the way a month before the actual recital - that puts us at a week after class starts. we thought this might be too short a time to work together and get things polished, along with the craziness of me learning five pieces for the honor band. so now we're doing it march 27th. this should work better for everyone. i am breathing a little easier.
like i said, my lesson yesterday went very well. so that, combined with the honor band, combined with the 85% I GOT ON MY MUSIC HISTORY MIDTERM have made this week pretty damn good!!

i am off to read a bit and probably youtube something.
sorry my posts always end up so effing long.