Yes, it has been forever since i posted on here. Obviously says something about the way fall semester ended... it was by far the hardest semester I've ever had to deal with. in high school, i was pretty lucky because with the exception of physics and calculus, i didn't really have to work at anything. and really physics and calculus was just tedious work that i didn't want to do. but this past semester, god. for once i actually had to work at a lot of things just to keep my head above water. much more textbook reading, much more studying. i practically had no social life outside of krieg hall, and even then i'd leave and go home to my empty apartment and study some more. taking cave ecology was a bad decision. i did learn a lot, and most of it was interesting. but i did not expect to work that hard on a class i'm only taking for the damn B credit and will never talk about again in my entire life. it blew big chunks.
so - here's hoping that next semester is much better. i've gotten most of my textbooks in the mail already (all hail amazon.com) and am trying my hardest not to begin to read them. and ALL of my classes revolve around my major, so they're all either music or education classes. which i think will make my life easier. at least i don't have to huff it across campus to the damn science building, i only have to go between two buildings during any day, and they're down the street from each other. the tradeoff is that DAMN 8:00 class. i think that's gonna be my downfall. i don't know how people survive on four or five hours of sleep... if i don't get at least seven, i'm a freaking zombie and can't speak in complete sentences. with three writing intensive classes and that god-awful early wake up call, i know already that i'm going to be sacrificing sleep. i don't mean to bitch about it a lot. i'll suck it up and deal with it eventually. but from the comfort of my own home on winter break with nothing to do... allow me this tiny pity party?
one thing that's been bugging me recently is the friend group and how it changes as we get older. i hate being so far away from everyone. and i'll just say it - yeah, i'm jealous. there are things that i want to do up here that i've missed because i've been down at school. plus, there are memories being made and i am not a part of them. i don't want this to turn into a woe-is-me session but sometimes i feel really left out. i know i made the decision to go to school three hours away but there's no bloody way i was staying up here after high school and witt was an offer i couldn't refuse. i guess i just don't feel especially close to anyone anymore because they're all changing and maturing and doing things and i got to see them four times in four months or so. it's depressing. especially because most of us have jobs now, so when i'm home it's a struggle to get everyone together because they've got their own schedules. and while i'm sitting at home doing nothing they're doing their own things. it is saddening.
one more thing before i finish this exorbitant post.
i caught an interview with gustavo dudamel tonight on pbs. he's the conductor of the l.a. philharmonic and has created programs in california to get kids into music. with funding they've gotten kids instruments and teachers who would otherwise not be able to do so. he's a champion for music education and is doing lots to help keep it in schools. and i just have to say that i am really happy and grateful i found a life/career path that i love. i love it. i love everything about it. and it really bugs me that people are so pessimistic about the future. yes, i realize the economy sucks and budgets are shrinking and stuff like music is being cut. hell, it's happened right around here. but - people like gustavo dudamel are doing everything they can to keep music a part of schools' curriculum. and this gives me hope. i'll be lucky to find a job when i graduate, but i haven't lost hope. i know things may look bad, but there are also good things happening everywhere. i just can't let myself get bogged down by the-world-is-going-to-hell mentality. sure, i can bitch about it for a while, but even after a major bitch session i can still find stuff to be hopeful about.
so guess what people! have hope! things are gonna be okay!
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