Promises

I just read the last post here from the beginning of November. Crimeny, so much has happened since then. I was struggling with my future and frankly a lot of things out of my control. While I doubt that concern will ever change or cease, the past two months I have truly been trying not to let those things bother me, because 90% of the time I don't have any control over them anyway.

Naturally around the holidays people reflect on their year and make resolutions. I am a weak person and so fall into that trap. Partially, it's because so much happens on a day-to-day basis that sometimes it's a wonder I remember the way driving home, and I need to remember this moment - right here, sitting in a coffee shop on a Tuesday afternoon before I go to a meeting.

In 2012...
- I student taught in a 7-12 band situation in a county school, and a k-6 situation in an urban/inner city school. It was an amazing experience... exhausting, of course, but I am happy I enjoyed it so much because what a tragedy it would be to get that far and realize that it's awful. I will tell you from experience though, teaching fifth grade brass and percussion players at 7:22 in the morning is a stretch.
- I wrote an honor's thesis. Boy this was an awful experience. The actual writing was fine, but I had a particularly diva-ish professor that basically put up roadblocks to stop me. And he told me I couldn't do it. Bad decision, mister. In spite of him I wrote a bomb-ass thesis comparing skills of resiliency to skills of music education, that basically made the case for keeping music in schools and transforming its role in the education of children. Bam.
- I graduated from Witt with departmental and university honors. Not that it really means anything.
- I saw my favorite band live, right before they released their new album!
- I started a full time job right after graduation that challenges and frustrates and excites me every day.
- I saw the President in person on his campaign tour.
- I went to the Annie Leibovitz exhibit in Columbus, a remarkable display of some culturally significant portraits. (President and Michelle Obama were displayed next to each other; GW Bush and his cabinet were next to a photo of...R2D2.)
- I decided that I'm not going to grad school next year. Instead, there is a 97% chance that I will be able to stay with this organization and move into an administrative role. This will be looking more at goal formation, data analysis and assessment practices (if we're actually reaching those goals), and communication (how we talk about our work).

In addition, I've been thinking a lot about changes and renewed promises this year.
I like "promises" better than "resolutions" because we're trying to be better people here, not legislation.

I Promise...
- To quit smoking
- To lose weight
- To spend more time with my children

Just kidding. While I may need to do a little more exercise, I don't smoke and definitely don't have any children.


I Promise...
- To eliminate (or at least significantly reduce) mediocrity in my life. I am sick and tired of not doing the best I can do. While I struggle with this in other people, I can start with myself.
- To write more. This includes both blog posts (which nobody really reads anyway) and letters. Who writes letters anymore? Well I do. And I want to. Hell, I still keep an old-fashioned journal that actually employs pen and paper.

Change is difficult. I am working with an organization that is trying to change lives and communities - a hefty lift. But I can always start somewhere.