Friday, September 24, 2010

only for a moment and the moment's gone

i swear to god, this is the semester from hell. and that is not an over-exaggeration.

last night was just like any other night. i was sitting in my chair doing homework when savannah came home. we got to talking, and she said she was hungry. so we went out to make something to eat and chat over late-night "dippy eggs". i came back to my room later in the night, went to get back to my work -- and my computer didn't turn on. yeah. i tried everything i could think of related to the power. nothing. i called my dad at midnight freaking out. obviously there was nothing he could do, so he told me to leave it overnight and try again in the morning. so i slept very poorly, woke up, tried it, still not turning on. this is awesome. i was sick to my stomach all morning because of this. my dad custom built that machine and now it's a very expensive paperweight. one of rachel's friends works with a computer repair company, so we took it to him and he said he'd take a look at it. i was so close to tears all day. after my 1:50 class, i decided to go see w since i didn't know who else to turn to. i really didn't want to play the victimized student deal, but as soon as i saw him i just started crying again. i have a paper and a presentation due in five days. he was really kind and caring and we went into his office to talk. he asked what my options were, and basically i've got to either live in krieg or trek back and forth between hollenbeck and my house. we're in his office and he asks if i need a computer - his laptop is sitting on the table. he freaking GAVE me his laptop to use. what kind of teacher does that, honestly? i am blown away by the graciousness and selflessness of this man. luckily the hard drive on my computer didn't get damaged, so the guy i took it to was able to get all my data off so i can at least work on stuff. most of my research was salvaged, except for the stuff i was working on at the time my computer took a crap. so i don't think i'm too far behind, but it's really nice to be able to have a computer to work on instead of spending hours/nights in the library or krieg. i am going to have to come up with something to do in return for him... i hate all this taking and not giving. he always pays for my coffee or lunch when we do that sort of thing, and now this... is it safe to say i'm sort of speechless? by sort of, i mean i can make grunty sounds and say words, but full sentences are out of the question. i kind of just sit there stunned most of the time when i think about it too hard.

tomorrow i'm going to hocking hills with my cave ecology class. it's both good and bad... good because i can get away for a while and hopefully forget about things; bad because it's going to take up almost the entirety of my day. we're leaving at 7:45 and getting back around 7. you think i'm going to work on my paper after that?!

one week and i'll be home for parade of bands. hopefully then we can take my computer to the company we bought it from and they can do something. or at least find out what's wrong. i think heather is coming down to pick me up along with brittany. i'm looking forward to having them on campus. i got much closer with both of them this summer, in some ways i probably couldn't have predicted. plus, when i go home i'll get to see benford.

sigh. let's hope things get better from here. things can only get better, with how shitty they've gone lately.

it'd be so nice to lay in bed and cry and eat ice cream for a few days.

i just realized that this is the first real crying i've done this semester. i hate crying in front of people, and now i went and did it in front of w. awesome.

bed. now.

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