khaki

i really wish i were in elyria tonight to see straight no chaser.

it's hard being away from home sometimes. i talked to my mom on the phone last night and for some reason i seriously got choked up when i was talking to her. you would think that it would get easier to be away from home since i'm not new at it anymore... but sometimes when things are tough and i'm stressed and unmotivated, my family and friends are the ones that rejuvinate me. and they're not here.

i just watched the movie "Shrink". it's with kevin spacey. (i know all of you are rolling your eyes at me right now...) but i think it's a really great movie. it's about a therapist who is dealing with his own issues so he can't/doesn't deal with his patients'. it's a thought-provoking movie, kind of sad, and the ending is vague... but for this kind of movie it works.

last night lauren and i went out. we pretty much made the run of campus... started out at one corner at burger king. i didn't realize how big whoppers really were. after that we went to the beta house for their "rave". lost epically at my game of pong; at least we didn't have to do a naked run. by the time we got there most people had left to go to the bar, so we didn't stay long. when we left beta, we went to our friend jared's house. by that time everyone was pretty worn out... so we didn't stay very long there either. lauren came back to my room with me and we played war for an obscene amount of time. didn't go to bed until about 3. maybe later, i wasn't really paying attention to the time, haha.

i've just been kind of sitting around today. got some homework done, and i'm starting to work on my marching band project - we have to pitch three band shows, pick the music, and pick the guard costumes. i am so excited!!

well, the buckeyes just won, so now i have to find something else to watch on tv. until next time.

under the table

i am so frustrated.

is there no hope for me?!

cannot i not find one decent male who's not a creeper or a freak?!?!



anyway. three days until the weekend!
lauren and i are going shopping tomorrow afternoon. i'd like to get some new cute tops.
today was decent, i guess. tuesdays aren't my favorite, and thank god i have these classes only two days a week. i have to start off at 8:30 in the morning... and i am NOT a morning person. but brien and i went to get chinese today, so that was awesome, haha. string methods was okay. i was trying my damndest not to fall asleep in that class, and i could totally tell brien was struggling too. after that, i have my child development class where we take notes for an hour and a half. funnnnnnnnn. and then band, so that's an hour and a half gone again right there. i've got a test tomorrow in history, and it really shouldn't be difficult. trudy faber recruited me to play with the handbell choir, because they need another person in the bass since the girl who's there now isn't very good apparently. that's another hour tomorrow afternoon, but i'm really excited about it. trudy seems to like me anyway, which is helpful, lol.

umm.... what else is important enough to post...

not much, haha.

i'm just trying to stay afloat.

it's not your size, it's how hard you try!

that's what she said.
actually, that's what benford said.

anyhoo...

i got back from my weekend home earlier this evening. it was so nice to be home with my parents and friends, albeit for just a few days. friday night brenda and i gave the east side a serenade of the alumni band music, we played outside over at east rec! and tried to play softball...but i realized my depth perception goes wayyyyy down when it starts to get dark. saturday i woke up early to go to alumni band practice; we finalized the last drill and had a few run-throughs. jessica showed up and i was so thrilled because i haven't seen her in a long time. after practice, benford, jessica and i went out to lunch. i really enjoyed having a real conversation with benford; two weeks ago when i was home for the funeral it was mostly just a "hi how are you" kind of thing, but this time we actually got to talk about some real stuff. he paid for lunch, which is not going to happen again. after lunch, i went home and relaxed for a few hours before having to go up to the stadium again for alumni band. we ran through the drill once more, and i felt pretty good about things. we were first to preform because we're the old farts, and except for a few spots, the show went really well. the crowd loved it, at least which is what we're all about. i got a lot of compliments about the band, so that's cool. i was surprised at how well i personally played; it's been a while since i played in marching band style - loud and fast and obnoxious - and while i wasn't perfect, i thought things sounded pretty good. brittany and stephanie are trying to convince me to play drums next year. i really want to do it... but i don't want to desert the trumpet section since there are only four of us, haha.

today i went to church, got dragged into playing handbells again, saw a few people i hadn't seen in a REALLY long time, fell asleep in a meeting (it was my mom's meeting, i was over in the corner waiting for her), ate junk food at the apple festival, and took the three hour drive back down here. i am so tired. as soon as i finish this, i am going to bed. honestly. pathetic... but seriously.

so... another thing...
there's this guy.

inbox: 1

four hours ago i hated my life. i hated everything. i wanted to punch things.

three minutes ago?

i have a smile and upcoming plans.

therefore; poetry.

----------------------------------------------
inbox: 1

funny how the mood can change
with a simple click of the mouse.

angry at the world;
hating humanity;
kicking puppies;

what can i do to bring things back from the edge?
bitch, moan, complain to mom.
grasping in the dark
for something cheerful
in a heartless world.

alas;
i have mail.

two sentences.

i smile.
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wrote that in about two minutes. totally not the best, but it was more of a stream-of-consciousness. whatevs. i now have something to look forward to.