i don't know what to think anymore. i'm afraid i am in too deep, and if i stop now i'll fall apart. i know i was stupid, we all were kind of stupid. i don't even know how to explain things...i don't even know where to start. people warned me and warned me, and yet i still went through and i'm afraid i won't be able to turn back. i don't want to ruin things, but i need answers. i can't just be here while you figure things out, because i need to figure things out and those things involve you. i don't think i could handle it if you tossed me aside; i hope you aren't one of those people, but i still am worried. i don't want to push things. you told me flat out - but it's not drunken anymore and it's not just one time. i've given you myself, (that was something i needed to deal with), but i am not sure what you've given me. you're in a select group of people now, one of a few that i could count on one hand. somehow i regretted those occasions with those other people, and i don't regret these - yet. no one knows the full story, and i don't plan on telling them. but i am not sure i can deal with not knowing/questions for a lot longer. i am so scared that nothing will come of this and i'll have screwed myself up, royally. so please tell me. please tell me something. anything. i want things to be different than they were with the past. fuck. i'm sorry.
i know this is super emo. and i know it's super vague. but i somehow needed to get this out there. and i apologize for about the millionth time.
"Try not to talk when there's nothing to say
Kept bottled up, we get carried away
Then I fall, then I fall down
Then we fall down"
-Ridiculous, Bowling For Soup
2 comments:
I hope you get your answers <3
Hun I am sorry. I wish I could take your pain. I feel like a parent who doesn't want to see her daughter feel this way. I have felt this way to much.
Love!
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