all we need

i just realized i've been single for over a year.
DAMMIT.

i've tried just ignoring things, i've tried playing it off, i've tried playing it up, i've prayed and hoped and wished and NOTHING. GAHHHHHHHH.

i wish that for once that my life would work out.

:(

i should probably get on that 10 page draft due tomorrow. i've got the rest of the night, though, and until 2pm tomorrow. so i'll just sit over here feeling sorry for my stupid little life and try to write about Jerusalem.

there's a guy who lauren works with that is totally head over heels for another co-worker. and they hang out and stuff, but she made it clear that she didn't want to date him. it was so cute that i almost wanted to barf, how the guy would watch her walk around the restaurant and do her duties and all that. oh, how i know how you feel, dude.

damn my life.
damn my emotions.
damn my hope.
damn it all.

sorry this is so frigging emo. i swear i'm not always like this. actually, i'm only like this about three days out of the month. today is one of those days.

____________________________________________

i carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
_________________________________________


Lay your sweet lovely on the ground
Lay your love on the track
We're gonna break the monster's back
Yes we are...
~ Love and Peace or Else, U2