lovely and significant

So.
Day one of back-to-school after Spring Break 2011.
Not that my spring break was anything really spectacular... I didn't go to El Salvador or Florida... hell, I barely traveled outside Lorain County.
Still, it was impeccable timing to have break - I needed it badly. Things were spiraling out of control a few weeks ago and I was drowning in all kinds of stuff to do. Thankfully break came and I got calmed down and relaxed and out of myself. (It is a personality trait of mine that when things go wrong or I am freaking out I kind of just melt down and go back into myself where no one can reach me. Coping mechanism. Terrible, terrible, coping mechanism.) I found out that holding a sleeping baby can do wonders for your mental state. I got to kiss her and love her and look at her and smell her wonderful baby smell (minus the diapers). For once I actually felt calm. Calm, I tell you. That hasn't happened in millennia.
I had to go to a funeral (well, funeral home viewing) because a member of our church, young man, 22 years old, passed away suddenly last week. It seems like every time I travel home I have to go to some funeral or something. It is enough to make me stay away... but I miss my family too much.
Got to spend some very brief time with my friends. Most of them are working now, so it's a challenge of epic proportions to get everyone together in one spot. I did get to spend a lot of time with Jessica and also Heather, and that was wonderful because I love that family.
People are beginning to ask me what I am going to do in the next year and after... and my response is: graduate, and then who the hell knows. It is so scary. I was up until 2 last night thinking about it. I was also nervous because I had to teach a lesson this morning in front of 20 of my peers, which is unbelievably difficult. But overall I think it went okay. Welker had feedback for me, of course, but the response from the class was positive.
Somehow - somehowwwww - I pulled out a B on my music history midterm. I only missed fifteen points total (thank god for bonus points). I vowed last semester to not pull a last minute study session, but of course I did, and I really thought I was screwed. I'd like to get an A in this class, so I will have to do well on the paper. I got a B+ on my paper last semester, and Dr. s said that was good for one of his classes, and I know I can do better, so I'm shooting for better than a B+. I am going to start studying like, now, for the final exam.
Once again, I have a class time conflict with an education and a music class next semester. I need both, and the professor who only has five students in his class (logically the one who could find another time, compared with the education class that has potentially 20 students in it) is fighting to keep his time in the morning. I am so frustrated. We'll see what happens, I guess...

Okay so I have to go to the library to pick up 3038528027 vhs tapes for my favorite professor in the whole wide world, so that'll be it for now.

:: It's been real. ::